Be a courageous parent

It's not all that surprising to find alcohol and drug use among local teens, but it is certainly disconcerting to discover the ages at which they start experimenting and the lengths they will go to to cover it up.

While conducting interviews for the Courageous Parenting 101 Program, featured on A1 this week-- the conversation always revolved around open communication between parents and teens as the number one way to prevent alcohol and drug abuse.

It may not be an easy conversation to have, but it's a necessary one. The topic can be awkward for many reasons: parents who experimented as teens may feel hypocritical "preaching" to their kids; some parents whose kids are excelling in school or sports may not want to "insult" their child by discussing drug use; others may feel as though they're pointing fingers by broaching the topic; and others still insist their children know better than to try drugs or alcohol.

When you think about it, none of the above reasons are good enough to prevent a conversation between you and your teen -- they're simply excuses.

Substance abuse problems do not discriminate. While the stigma still paints the picture of addiction taking place in poor areas or by "troubled" teens, the truth is drugs and alcohol are readily available to kids in our area, and whether they're rich, smart, athletic -- it only takes teens a few times to become hooked. More importantly, since the latest studies show students experimenting with drugs and alcohol at younger ages, it's critical that kids understand the dangers of addiction; their brains have had less time to develop, which can cause chronic substance abuse problems within a shorter amount of time.

Drinking lessens the inhibitions and can lead to harder drug use. Studies have also shown that kids who become alcoholics at a younger age continue to search for a "better" high, often taking them down a destructive path of substance abuse.

Most of the experts we spoke with suggested discussing the subject with your children as young as first grade. But even if your kids are in their teens, and you've maybe shied away from the subject, it's never too late.

In addition to the Courageous Parenting 101 program that will be offered in Norwalk in January, Time to Talk, part of the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, offers an abundance of information regarding how, when and where to talk to your kids about drugs and alcohol.

Its Web site, www.timetotalk.org, offers a downloadable kit that takes parents through the conversation step-by-step. It walks parents through different scenarios, from something as minute as taking vitamins, to opportunities that offer more serious conversational opportunities, like watching a movie that depicts drug use. The first five steps include how to say it; five teachable moments, such as when a famous teen gets arrested for drug use or two students in your kid's class get arrested for DUI; how to teach your kids to turn down drugs; how other adults can help; and how to answer the big question -- "Did you do drugs when you were a kid?"

In addition to Time to Talk, the partnership also hosts the site www.drugfree.org, which offers everything from how to spot warning signs to what to do if you find out your child is using. The site also profiles parents who have gone through drug and alcohol addiction with their children, an important reminder that you're not alone.

Finally, if you find out your teen does have a problem, there are plenty of resources available to you and your family. Support groups like Al-Anon can be invaluable for families dealing with substance abuse issues (www.al-anon.alateen.org), and it always helps to speak with a substance abuse counselor.